So to provide some variety at an early Thanksgiving party, an apple pie was requested. We bought one of those frozen numbers. The packaging on different types of foods can sometimes be interesting to read. Take this pie...

Step 1: Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.
Step 2: Open center hold of pie and cut 4-6 slits in top crust.
Step 3: Remove frozen pie from box and center on a cookie sheet lined with heavy foil.

Um.... If I were to successfully complete step 2, wouldn't I have already completed half of step 3?

Good thing they had those steps numbered!

12 REASONS TO BE THANKFUL YOU BURNT THE BIRD

1. Salmonella won't be a concern.
2. Everyone will think your turkey is Cajun-blackened.
3. Uninvited guests will think twice next year.
4. Your cheese broccoli lima bean casserole will gain newfound appreciation.
5. Pets won't bother to pester you for scraps.
6. No one will overeat.
7. The smoke alarm was due for a test.
8. Carving the bird will provide a good cardiovascular workout.
9. You'll get to the desserts more quickly.
10. After dinner, the guys can take the bird to the yard and play football.
11. The less turkey Uncle You-Know-Who eats, the less likely he will be to walk around with his pants unbuttoned.
12. You won't have to face three weeks of turkey sandwiches.